Time to say goodbye

I’m so sorry for being MIA in the past couple of months – things have been pretty crazy at work, with travel, overseas visitors and deadlines. So I haven’t had the chance to blog and I’ve really missed it.

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Today, I’d like to talk about relationships. Human interaction and relationships are very complicated and I’m certainly no expert. In fact, I’m pretty bad at it as I’m an introvert and generally don’t like to venture too far away from my comfort zone. As I get older, this is even more true, as I have less time and patience for people who (I feel) may not be worth spending time with.

A couple of weeks ago, I made a decision that I’ve probably only made once or twice in my life. I decided that it was time to say goodbye to one of my oldest friendships. I’ve known her for over 20 years and we spent lots of time hanging out during high school. We kept in touch after leaving school despite being in different countries. She’s one of the few people I meet up with whenever I’m back in Malaysia.

However, in recent years, it’s become clear to me that our friendship may not be very important to her. She would sound eager to meet up when I’m in Malaysia or she’s in Hong Kong, but drag her feet to agree on a date and time, she’d be late for meeting me and make it sound like she’s very busy and can only slot me in for an hour here or there, etc. This time around, she was in town for holiday and agreed to meet me but didn’t respond to finalise where and when. Finally, on the day that she was leaving HK, she messaged me and said that she couldn’t find time to meet me. I was disappointed but more so, it made me decide that enough was enough.

Any relationship should be two-sided, with both sides being committed and valuing the relationship. Somebody told me recently that a marriage is like a bank account – each spouse has to continue to deposit into the account in order to keep the marriage running. This is probably true for all types of relationships. So, I say ‘farewell’ to one sided relationships, which don’t make me feel valued or appreciated. On the other hand, I will continue to spend my time, love and energy on relationships that are real, healthy and balanced.

Thanks for listening! I’ll try to resume my weekly blogging and with more positive messages going forward 🙂

 

 

One thought on “Time to say goodbye

  1. Yeah we hear you about this.
    I (Suan) have the same here. A number of years back, a friend I made in Holland came over as her husband was based here for 2 years. During that time, it was like I was the last priority, often getting postponement of appointments etc. Now she’s returned to Holland, when she comes back for a home visit to parents, she is so eager to meet up… point is – you know how ‘valuable’ you are as a friend from this.

    Liked by 1 person

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